'Vy,' says he 'Cos,' I replied, 'I intends vearing mustachios to look
like a gentleman,' 'Vell, then,' says he, 'as you intends to become a
fashionable gentleman, p'raps you'll have no objection to forfeit
half-a-gallon of ale, as it's the rule here that every workman vot
sports mustachios, to have them vetted a bit.' Vell, has I refused to
have my mustachios christened, they made game of them, and said they
weren't half fledged; and, more nor all that, they hustled me about, and
stole my dinner out of the pot, and treated me shameful, and so I want
your advice respecting my mustachios.
"Mr Rawlinson: My advice is, go to the barber and have them shaved off
without loss of time.
"Applicant: Can't part with a single hair.
"Mr Rawlinson: You want to look like a grenadier, I suppose?
"Applicant: My granny-dear (God bless her dear old soul!), she never had
such a fashionable and warlike appendage in her life.
"Mr Rawlinson: What business has a carpenter with a quantity of long
hair hanging from his lip?
"Applicant: The reason vy I rears it is 'cos it's fashionable, and makes
me look like a man of some courage.
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