The torture is becoming unendurable. Some of these cowards even descend to
taunting me with their knowledge; and when I, in any way, cross their
purposes in our discussions, they threaten me covertly with exposure. That
disgusting young fool, Mori, only to-day, being jealous of me in some
trivial matter, tried to intimidate me by hinting at the V---- affair. I
felt that I could have struck him down where he stood; and then a sense of
my own impotence overtook me, and I stood there, silent and confused,
trying to laugh the matter off, as though I had not grasped his meaning.
But I can stand this state of things no longer: it is driving me mad. When
I am alone now I suddenly start with the feeling that some one is coming
on me unawares. This afternoon, wishing to be alone and to think matters
over, I took a walk about the Park, but the very trees seemed to be
whispering about me, and before long I perceived that I was followed, that
my movements were being dogged step by step. When I am alone in my room
they do not even leave me in peace. They obtain entrance here by means of
that Wattles woman, who is evidently in their pay. B---- cannot forgive me
for not having appropriated to our private use the money expropriated in
Barcelona for the propaganda; and this indeed is one of their principal
grievances against me. Would you believe it, Isabel, last night he
actually got into this house and woke me from sleep by shouting the name
of the bank through that hole? When I rushed down to find him, determined
to teach him a sound lesson, he was gone.
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