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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, April 30, 1919"


Sometimes we search the advertisement columns in the papers in the hope
of finding something that may do.
"Here's one," I announced one morning; "'For American millionaires and
others. Fifteen bathrooms--' Oh, no, that's too big."
"Isn't there anything for English hundredaires?" said Celia.
"Here's one that says 'reasonable offer taken.'"
"Yes, but I don't suppose we reason the same way as he does."
"Well, here's one for four thousand pounds. That's not so bad. I mean as
a price, not as a house."
"Have you got four thousand pounds?"
"No; I was hoping _you_ had."
"Couldn't you mortgage something--up to the hilt?"
"We'll have a look," I said.
We spent the rest of that day looking for something to mortgage, but
found nothing with a hilt at all high up.
"Anyhow," I said, "it was a rotten house."
"Wouldn't it be simpler," said Celia, "to put in an advertisement
ourselves, describing exactly the sort of house we want? That's the way
I always get servants."
"A house is so much more difficult to describe than a cook."
"Oh, but I'm sure _you_ could do it. You describe things so well."
Feeling highly flattered, I retired to the library and composed.
For the first hour or so I tried to do it in the _staccato_ language of
house-agents.


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Bellini firany Edyta Bartosiewicz Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Band of Horses