Had they
lasted after her child's birth the struggle might have been too hard;
for mothers have responsibilities as well as wives, and when these
conflict, as they do sometimes, God help her who has to choose between
them! But Helen was saved this misfortune. Providence had taken her
destiny out of her own hands, and here she was, free as Helen Cardross
of old, in exactly the same position, and going through the same simple
round of daily cares and daily avocations which she had done as the
minister's active and helpful daughter.
For as nothing else but the minister's daughter would she, for the
present, be recognized at Cairnforth. Lord Cairnforth's intentions
toward herself or her son she insisted on keeping wholly secret, except,
of course, as regarded that dear and good father.
"I may die," she said to the earl--"die before yourself; and if my
boy grows up, you may not love him, or he may not deserve your love, in
which case you must choose another heir. No, you shall be bound in no
way externally; let all go on as heretofore. I will have it so."
And of all Lord Cairnforth's generosity she would accept of nothing for
herself except a small annual sum, which, with her widow's pension from
the East India Company, sufficed to make her independent of her father;
but she did not refuse kindness to her boy.
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