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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces"

You quarrelsome men are just
wearing me out. Mr. Barlow, do you want cream in yours?
Barlow. If you please; and one lump of sugar. (Dorothy pours is
out.) Thanks.
Dorothy. Mr. Yardsley?
Yardsley. Just a little, Miss Andrews. No cream, and no sugar.
[Dorothy prepares a cup for Yardsley. He is about to take it when--
Dorothy. Well, I declare! It's nothing but hot water! I forgot the
tea entirely!
Barlow (with a laugh). Oh, never mind. Hot water is good for
dyspepsia.
[With a significant look at Yardsley.
Yardsley. It depends on how you get it, Mr. Barlow. I've known men
who've got dyspepsia from living in hot water too much.
[As Yardsley speaks the portiere is violently clutched from without,
and Jennie's head is thrust into the room. No one observes her.
Barlow. Well, my cup is very satisfactory to me, Miss Dorothy. Fact
is, I've always been fond of cambric tea, and this is just right.
Yardsley (patronizingly). It _is_ good for children.
Jennie (trying to attract Yardsley's attention). Pst!
Yardsley. My mamma lets me have it Sunday nights.


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