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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces"

Ho, ho! Then you _are_ an experienced proposer, Mr.
Barlow?
Barlow (confused). Why--er--well--um--I didn't exactly mean that,
you know. I meant that--ah--if it ever came to the--er--the test, I
think I could--I'd have sand enough, as Yardsley puts it, to do the
thing properly, and without making a--ah--a Yardsley of myself.
Yardsley (bristling up). Now what do you mean by that?
Dorothy. I think you are both of you horrid this afternoon. You are
so quarrelsome. Do you two always quarrel, or is this merely a
little afternoon's diversion got up for my especial benefit?
Barlow (with dignity). I never quarrel.
Yardsley. Nor I. I simply differ sometimes, that's all. I never
had an unpleasant word with Jack in my life. Did I, Jack?
Barlow. Never. I always avoid a fracas, however great the
provocation.
Dorothy (desperately). Then let us have a cup of tea together and be
more sociable. I have always noticed that tea promotes sociability--
haven't you, Mr. Yardsley?
Yardsley. Always. (Aside.) Among women.
Barlow. What say?
[Dorothy rises and rings the bell for Jennie.


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