Confound his--
Mrs. Perkins. But what are we going to do? It's quarter-past six
now, and the curtain is to rise at 8.30.
Perkins. I'll give 'em my unequalled imitation of Sandow lifting the
curtain with one hand. Thus. [Raises curtain wish right hand.
Yardsley. For goodness' sake, man, be serious. There are seventy-
five people coming here to see this performance, and they've paid for
their tickets.
Mrs. Perkins. It's perfectly awful. We can't do it at all unless
Mr. Bradley will go right up stairs now and learn--
Mrs. Bradley. Oh, that's impossible. He's learned nearly three
hundred lines to-day already. Mr. Barlow might--
Barlow. I couldn't think of it, Mrs. Bradley. I've got as much as I
can do remembering what lines I have learned.
Perkins. It would take you a week to forget your old part completely
enough to do the other well. You'd be playing both parts, the way
Irving does when he's irritated, before you knew it.
Yardsley. I'm sure I don't know what to do.
Perkins. Give it up, eh? What are you stage-manager for? If I
didn't own the house, I'd suggest setting it on fire; but I do, and
it isn't fully insured.
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