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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces"

Tut! You are very tiresome this afternoon, Thaddeus.
Mrs. Perkins, we'll go ahead without dropping the curtain. Now take
your place.
[Mrs. Perkins seats herself by table, picks up a book, and begins to
read.
Mrs. Perkins (after an interval, throwing book down with a sigh).
Heigho! I cannot seem to concentrate my mind upon anything to-night.
I wonder why it is that once a woman gives her heart into another's
keeping--[Bell rings. Perkins lets curtain drop.
Yardsley. What the deuce did you drop that curtain for, Thaddeus?
Perkins. The bell rang, didn't it?
Yardsley. Yes, you idiot, but that's supposed to be the front-door
bell. Lady Amaranth is about to arrive--
Perkins. Well, how was I to know? Your instructions to me were
positive. Don't monkey with curtain till bell rings. When bell
rings, if down, pull her up; if up, pull her down. I'm not a
connoisseur on bells--
Yardsley. You might pay some attention to the play.
Perkins. Now look here, Bob. I don't want to quarrel with you, but
it seems to me that I've got enough to do without paying attention to
your part of the show.


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