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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces"

He's
a dry fellow, that Harkaway.
[Exit Perkins, dragging Yardsley by the arm.
Barlow (calling after them). Don't you touch it, Bob. It's potent
stuff. One glass may postpone the performance.
Yardsley (from behind the scenes). Never fear for me, my boy. I've
got a head, I have.
Barlow. Well, don't get another. (Turning to Mrs. Perkins.)
Suppose we rehearse that scene where I acquaint you with Cobb's real
position in life?
Mrs. Perkins. Very well. I'm ready. I'm to sit here, am I not?
[Seats herself by table.
Barlow. And I come in here. (Begins.) Ah, Lady Ellen, I am glad to
find you alone, for I have that to say--
Mrs. Perkins. Won't you be seated, Mr. Featherhead? It was such a
delightful surprise to see you at the Duchess of Barncastle's last
evening. I had supposed you still in Ireland.
Barlow (aside). Good. She little thinks that I have just returned
from Australia, where I have at last discovered the identity of the
real Earl of Puddingford, as well as that of this bogus Muddleton,
who, by his nefarious crime, has deprived Henry Cobb of his
patrimony, of his title, aye, even of his name.


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