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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces"


Mrs. Perkins. Suppose it catches his neck?
Perkins. This beats the Wild West Show.
[A crash.
All. He's got him.
[All rush out, except Perkins.
Perkins. Oh yes; he learned in a minute, he did. Easy! Ha, ha!
Gad! it almost makes me forget my pain.
Enter all, asking. "Is he hurt? How do you feel?" etc. Yardsley
has rope-end in right hand; noose is tied about Bradley's body, his
coat and clothing are much the worse for wear.
Mrs. Bradley. Poor, dear Edward!
Bradley (weakly kissing her). Don't m-mind me. I--I'm all right--
only a little exhilarated--and somewhat--er--somewhat breathless.
Feel like a bird--on toast. Yardsley, you're a brick. But that
pavement--that was a pile of 'em, and the hardest I ever encountered.
I always thought asphalt was soft--who said asphalt was soft?
Perkins. Easy to learn, though, eh?
Bradley. Too easy. I'd have gone on--er--forever--er--if it hadn't
been for Bob.
Mrs. Bradley. I'll give it up, Ned dear, if you say so.
Mrs. Perkins (affectionately). That's sweet of you, Emma.
Bradley. No, indeed, you won't, for--er--I--I rather like it while
it's going on, and when I learn to get off--
Yardsley.


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