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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces"

Here we are in trouble again. Brad's gone off
on my wheel. Bob's taken his, and your tire's punctured. He doesn't
know the first thing about turning or stopping, and I can't run fast
enough to catch him. One member of the family is in jail--the other
on a runaway wheel!
[Yardsley appears at door. Assumes attitude of butler announcing
guest.
Yardsley. Missus Willerby 'Awkins!
Enter Mrs. Bradley, hysterical.
Mrs. Bradley. Oh, Edward!
[Throws herself into Barlow's arms.
Barlow (quietly). Excuse me--ah--Mrs. Hawkins--ah--Bradley--but I'm
not--I'm not your husband.
Mrs. Bradley (looking up, tragically). Where's Edward?
Mrs. Perkins. Sit down, dear--you must be completely worn out.
Mrs. Bradley (in alarm). Where is he?
Perkins (rising and standing on one leg). Fact is, Mrs. Bradley--we
don't know. He disappeared ten minutes ago.
Yardsley. What do you mean?
Mrs. Bradley. Disappeared?
Barlow. Yes. He went east--at the rate of about a mile a minute.
Mrs. Bradley. My husband--went east? Mile a minute?
Perkins. Yes, on a bike. Yardsley, take me by the shawl-strap, will
you, and help me over to that chair; my back hurts so I can't lie
down.


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